Failure: Something to be celebrated

Failure is painful. Social failure is particularly poignant. Why is it painful? Intellectually one knows there is no way to improve without failing, yet the pain of failure persists, logic-retardant. Emotionally your subconscious never acts logically. This makes it particularly difficult to stomach the pain that seems to be inevitable. I don't know if its actually feasible to try and rework your habitual response to failure. I think the most prominent and popular method is to just deal with it and last long enough that you start to experience some sort of success that offsets the failure. It would be better however to change your subconscious reaction to failure. I think the best way to do this would be to try and frame failure successfully in your mind and then go out and fail while focusing on maintaining the frame. I have trouble maintaining frames for extended periods of time, especially in the heat of socialization. This is problematic since the frame is probably one of the most important aspects of change. In my mind I get caught up trying to do too many aimless things at a time. I need to really be goal and focus oriented in my interactions from now on. I think the most important thing is to NOT try and talk to people but just internally manage myself. But perhaps focusing on myself is part of the problem with the frame itself? Hmm. You need to feel in control when you do things. Until I have that emotional sense I cannot really impart much of this to others. it gets easier when other people are validating you....but I want to be free from this. I want to come into an interaction without needing validation or recognition. I want inner strength, security, confidence, and calmness. Its in this emotional position that you may be able to manifest other good emotional states as well as best control the emotions of others around you. That is what I want...who knows how I'll get there.